The Neuroscience of Self-Soothing

o effectively manage stress and anxiety, it’s crucial to understand what’s happening in the brain and body when these emotions arise. Stress responses are hardwired into our biology—they help us survive and react quickly to danger. However, in modern life, these responses are often triggered by everyday challenges rather than physical threats, leading to chronic stress. This chapter covers the basics of the brain’s stress response, how the nervous system regulates calm and stress states, and how self-soothing techniques interact with these biological systems.

By the end of this chapter, you’ll have a clear understanding of the stress response process, the key players in the nervous system, and how self-soothing practices can help bring the body back to a calm state. With this foundation, you’ll be better equipped to apply self-soothing techniques effectively.

• The Brain’s Stress Response: Fight-or-Flight Explained

  • The fight-or-flight response is a survival mechanism that prepares the body to face or flee danger. When the brain perceives a threat, it activates the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which sends signals to release adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) throughout the body.

  • Amygdala’s Role: Known as the brain’s “alarm system,” the amygdala detects threats and signals the HPA axis. When the amygdala is activated, it can lead to rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, and other stress responses.

• The Nervous System and Its Two Main Branches

  • Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): This is the part of the nervous system responsible for activating the body during stressful situations. The SNS prepares you for action, increasing heart rate, dilating pupils, and suppressing non-essential functions (like digestion).

  • Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): Often called the “rest and digest” system, the PNS promotes relaxation, slows down the heart rate, and encourages the body to conserve energy. Self-soothing techniques generally aim to activate the PNS, helping the body return to a state of calm.

• The Vagus Nerve: A Key Player in Self-Soothing

  • The vagus nerve is a major nerve running from the brainstem through the neck to the chest and abdomen. It plays a crucial role in activating the parasympathetic nervous system and promoting calm.

  • Vagal Tone and Resilience: Vagal tone refers to the strength and responsiveness of the vagus nerve. High vagal tone is associated with better stress recovery, emotional regulation, and resilience. Techniques like slow breathing and humming stimulate the vagus nerve, making them powerful self-soothing tools.

• Neuroplasticity: How Self-Soothing Rewires the Brain

  • What is Neuroplasticity? Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to adapt and change based on experiences and repeated behaviours. When we practise self-soothing techniques consistently, we strengthen neural pathways associated with calm and reduce those associated with stress.

  • Building a Calm Brain: With regular practice, self-soothing can help the brain become more efficient at activating the parasympathetic response, making it easier to remain calm in future stressful situations.

• Step 1: Stress Detection – When the brain detects a potential threat, the amygdala signals the HPA axis to release stress hormones.

• Step 2: Physiological Changes – Adrenaline and cortisol flood the body, activating the sympathetic nervous system and creating a cascade of physical changes like increased heart rate and blood pressure.

• Step 3: Applying Self-Soothing Techniques – Self-soothing practices stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), counteracting the stress response.

• Step 4: Return to Calm – With the PNS engaged, the body begins to relax: heart rate slows, blood pressure stabilises, and calmness returns.

• How does your body typically feel when you’re stressed?
  Reflecting on your body’s specific responses (e.g., tightness in the chest, sweaty palms, faster breathing) can help you become aware of your stress triggers and recognise when self-soothing is needed.

• What habits might help you strengthen your parasympathetic response?
  Think about routines or activities that naturally calm you down, such as deep breathing, spending time in nature, or taking short breaks throughout the day.

• How might understanding your body’s response to stress help you manage it better?
  Knowing the science can demystify stress, making it easier to treat physical and mental responses as part of a natural process rather than feeling overwhelmed by them.

These exercises are designed to help you observe your stress response patterns, making it easier to apply self-soothing techniques when you need them.

1. Body Awareness Check-In

   • Purpose: Understanding how your body physically responds to stress can make it easier to detect and manage it early.

   • Steps:

     • Find a quiet moment to sit comfortably. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to centre yourself.

     • Think of a recent time when you felt stressed and gently recall it. As you do this, notice any physical sensations, such as tension, increased heart rate, or a feeling of warmth or cold.

     • Write down your observations in a journal or notebook, noting where in your body you felt these changes.

   • Reflection: Awareness of physical stress markers helps you recognise your body’s signals, allowing you to initiate self-soothing techniques as soon as you detect these sensations.

2. Personal Stress Response Map

   • Purpose: Creating a visual map of your stress response process helps you understand and identify the chain of events from trigger to physical response.

   • Steps:

     • On a piece of paper, draw a simple flowchart. Start with a box labelled “Trigger” and write down a common stressor (e.g., public speaking, deadlines).

     • Draw an arrow leading to “Thoughts” and list the types of thoughts you typically have in this situation (e.g., “I’ll mess up,” “This is too much”).

     • Next, draw an arrow to “Physical Response” and list physical symptoms (e.g., rapid heartbeat, sweating).

     • Finally, add an arrow to “Self-Soothing Technique” and write down a soothing method you can use, such as deep breathing or visualisation.

   • Reflection: This exercise creates a visual plan of action for stress management, helping you see exactly where self-soothing techniques fit into your response.

3. Vagus Nerve Stimulation Practice

   • Purpose: Practising vagus nerve stimulation regularly helps improve vagal tone, making it easier for the body to activate the relaxation response.

   • Steps:

     • Try one of these simple vagus nerve exercises daily:

       • Slow Breathing: Inhale for a count of four, hold for two, and exhale for six. Repeat for two minutes, focusing on slow, steady breaths.

       • Gentle Humming: Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and exhale with a gentle hum, feeling the vibration in your throat and chest. Repeat five times.

     • Practise these exercises during calm moments to help improve your vagal tone and make it easier to self-soothe during stressful times.

   • Reflection: By practising vagus nerve stimulation techniques, you train your body to access calmness more readily, building resilience against stress.

• Your Body Has Built-In Calm Responses: The nervous system is designed to promote calm through the parasympathetic nervous system. Self-soothing techniques tap into this system, making relaxation a natural response to stress.

• Vagal Tone Affects Your Ability to Self-Soothe: Regular practice of self-soothing methods can improve vagal tone, helping you build resilience to stress.

• Understanding Your Stress Response Creates Confidence: Knowing the science behind stress empowers you to treat anxiety as a manageable experience, rather than an uncontrollable force.